It's one of THOSE days (or weeks, actually). I am roughly two weeks away from the final deadline of my degree. My brain is all but shut down. I am just about functioning enough to get out of bed and feed myself. M.E (or Myalgic Encephalomyelitis to those unlucky enough to be in the know) is a bastard. A cruel, unrelenting, invisible bastard. And one that is plaguing me right now.

But, I have to carry on making. Stitching, gluing, photographing, typing, editing - in the hope that it will all come together and look in some way presentable and palatable to my audience (and the exam board, of course).

The whole point of this work is that it is entirely confusing and uncomfortable and raw. No nice, dreamy landscapes in oil on canvas here, no sirree. Just grim shit that you can't shake off,  no matter how hard you try.

So, with that off my chest, it's back to work I go.

FUCK YOU, M.E and your cronies, I'm not done yet.

Image courtesy of moi.

It's been a tough few weeks, to say the least. Without boring you to death with the details, my immune system has taken itself to a whole new level of shit. It went like this; general M.E/Fibromyalgia/Thoracic Outlet Syndrome shit >>> Inner ear/balance shit >>> palpitations shit >>> tummy...yeah, you get it >>> head cold shit >>> chesty cough shit >>> and back to M.E/Fibromyalgia/Thoracic Outlet Syndrome shit once more. Two glorious months of what can only be described as absolute SHIT. 

Couple this with the fact that I am in the final few weeks of my degree, up to my (itchy, sore) eye balls in work for the exhibition and you can probably work out that I have been more than a little angsty and frustrated.

The concrete is coming along, the blanket is nearly completed. I'll get there.

Concrete Experiment

Exploring the connotations between concrete and the effects of chronic fatigue. Dull, heavy and almost impossible to move.  These pieces are very much in the experimental stage.

Blankets. A source of comfort and warmth. Over the knees of the elderly and infirm, around the shoulders of those in shock.  Knitted, woven, patchwork. Old and frayed. Can be used for picnics. 

The Discomfort Blanket:

Part of my latest series looking at the invisible elements of pain and sickness. Here are a few of the patches:

Images courtesy of moi! 

Why don't you get a backbone?

"The spine is well sprung with resilient discs between the vertebrae and luckily, too. Otherwise, just one ordinary step would result in a minor concussion. The sacrum and coccyx cannot move but the 24 other vertebrae are connected by movable joints. Together they make a very elastic construction" - www.allscan.ca

Yeah. It can also hurt. A lot.Often for no apparent or obvious reason. Back pain is the second most common cause of long term sickness in the UK.

NERVES/VEINS/ARTERIES

Today I have mostly been playing with Photoshop, drinking tea, stretching and moaning about the cold.

Welcome!

Welcome. Whether you are a sufferer of chronic pain, a physician, an artist or just curious, I hope this blog will be of interest to you.

I use a combination of commonplace materials, traditional techniques and medical paraphenalia that I am instinctively drawn to, focusing almost entirely on human form, human experience and bodily systems. The primary objective of my practise is to make the elusive, invisible elements of chronic illness and pain a visual entity – thus more tangible to the sufferer and 'real' to the audience.

I cannot really remember the last time I wasn't in physical pain of some description. I am 27 years old (soon to be 28) and it probably started around the age of 13 with an undiagnosed ankle injury. Like most people affected by chronic illness/pain, I look fine. Two legs, two arms,two ears, two eyes, a torso, clear skin and often wearing a  smile. And afterall, 99% of sickness is invisible, dont'cha know?

Enough about that - there are enough blogs and websites out there dedicated to raising awareness and providing support (I can highly recommend www.butyoudontlooksick.com ).

Art has the power to challenge perceptions. And, in the current socio-political climate, perceptions of disability need to be challenged. 

Here's a sneaky look at some of the stuff I'm working on right now.

A Bed of Nails

(lens based media, commonplace materials)

Images courtesy of myself! March 2013